Fear and anger are conflicting and powerful emotions which can overtake us all. Especially if you are facing rejection from your job, from a relationship breakdown, or even when a friend fails to call you back, or forgets it’s your birthday. These feelings are real, it’s how you truly feel, and you’re entitled to feel them.

You may think that because you’re normally a kind and thoughtful person, you shouldn’t have these feelings. But don’t worry, you’re not wrong, you’re human, and we all have them!

In fact, telling yourself that you don’t feel them is actually counterproductive. When anger and fear are not expressed, they reside in the background, dictating your reactions in interactions and reduce your ability to live fully in the present. You may not even realize it’s happening!

The great news is that it’s entirely possible to release these feelings of anger and fear in the moment as you feel them.

This helps you to do two important things:

 Feel the feelings.

 Know you won’t be stuck in them.

So, you immediately feel more resilient and better able to cope with whatever life throws your way.

Dealing with fear using Energy Psychology

Looking for a new job can be a particularly painful process that brings up a lot of fear in most people. You have to search for suitable positions, talk to friends and co-workers, update your resume all without knowing whether you will find a good job at the end of it.

When you finally get an interview that in itself can be scary. You don’t know if you have the right qualifications, whether the interviewer will value your experience, as well as handling the practical details of getting to the interview on time, and the time and effort it takes to dress appropriately.

It can be easy to get lost in fear at every stage. And you know, deep down, that if you don’t feel confident, the interviewer will pick up on it. What can you do?

So, let’s deal with the fear first using Energy Psychology, and my version of Meridian tapping. We are talking here about trying to get a new job, but this applies to all situations where fear can rear its head.

Finding your Fear Statement

You know exactly what your particular fears are. But from my experiences with thousands of private clients over the years, I’ve heard the Fear Statements we can tell ourselves.

Read the statements. Do you resonate with any of them?

I’m afraid I’m not as good as I thought I was

I’m afraid I’m not good enough for the position I really want

I’m afraid to put myself out there after all these years 

I’m afraid they won’t hire me because of my age/looks/gender/ethnicity/skin color

I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to me without money coming in

I’m afraid I’m pretending to be this seasoned professional that I’m really not, I’m an imposter

I’m afraid I’m never going to get hired

I’m afraid I’ll never get a better job than I used to have

I’m afraid of making less money

I’m afraid of starting over again

Now go back and choose ONE fear statement that feels

like the “closest fit” to you.

When you have found it, write it down. Now measure in your own mind how true the statement feels to you. Does it feel 100% true? 65% true? 10%? Decide on your own level with the number that feels right. Then write that number down.

You are now ready to reduce your fear by involving your brain together with the part of your body that governs fear. You find the place by tapping two fingers directly under your nose, on top of your upper lip. Place two fingertips right over the groove of your top lip.

Then look at your “closest fit” fear statement, repeat it aloud - or in your head - and tap on that point 7-8 times rapidly and firmly with two fingertips. 

Look for body sensations called relaxation responses. For example, yawning (it doesn’t mean you 're tired) sighing, belching. You may feel less tension in your body, you may even feel your body tingling. It’s a sign the fear energy is moving out of your body, it’s a positive response when it happens!

Then identify the number related to your fear as it now stands. You will likely find it has gone down. Maybe all the way to zero. You can repeat this process until you get your number waay down.

Feeling Fear and Anger is Normal

Fear and anger seem like very different emotions, but in many ways, they are simply the opposite sides of a response to rejection. Many of my clients are astonished when they suddenly feel violently angry, especially if it is over something unimportant like a car braking suddenly in front of you.

They can get worried that they are becoming an angry person which is not at all how they like to think of themselves.

But anger is a normal healthy response to a situation we don’t like. It only becomes a problem when we act it out on other people or suppress it and it stays stuck inside.

Releasing anger when looking for a job

I am here to reassure you that you really can release anger. This is particularly helpful before the interview, because if you’re frustrated and angry that will communicate and you’re unlikely to be hired.

Or you may feel you really nailed the interview, wanted the job and were told you’re a real contender, and then someone else gets the position. This can happen when the job goes to an insider. The rejection hurts, and it feels easier to get mad rather than sad. Now you’re angry at HR for stringing you along and getting your hopes up before the rejection. Now you might get angry at yourself too.

That type of anger at others or even yourself is exhausting and unnecessary.

If this type of energy persists, you could become depressed… which is another stage in the grieving process. But we’re about to bypass depression because we’re actively dealing with it and releasing your anger!

Finding your Anger Statement

Again, it’s impossible for me to guess exact reasons why you’re angry, disappointed, irritated, and annoyed. But my experiences with mostly angry clients have provided me with examples of the type of Anger Statements we may be beating ourselves up with in this particular situation.

For this second exercise, read through each of these, and choose ONE anger statement that feels like the “closest fit” to you.

It makes me mad nobody wants to hire me

I’m so pissed off I have to prove myself and start all over again

I’m so damn mad I was the one who lost my job and not them

I’m angry because I feel under-appreciated and undervalued

It pisses me off to feel invisible and over-looked by stupid HR and upper management

I’m mad because everyone is too blind to see how much I have to offer

I’m mad at myself for being so nervous for that interview

I’m angry because I talked too much and sounded stupid

I’m mad at myself because I drew a blank, and didn’t answer that question the right way

I hate feeling rejected. It makes me feel like shit

Again, gauge how true the statement feels to you by percentage. Is it 100% true? If not, make your best guess and write it down. You’ll see for yourself how much the intensity goes down after you’re done tapping.

Next, we’ll activate a different part of your body. The meridian that is connected to anger. It’s the “Gall Bladder Meridian” which will help to release or lessen your anger considerably.

With two fingertips locate that meridian point at the side of your eye, on the bone at the edge of your eye socket, not on the eyeball itself.

While you repeat your “closest fit” anger statement, tap on that point 7-8 times rapidly and firmly with two fingertips. 

Look for a body sensations like yawning (not because you’re tired) sighing, belching. You may feel less tension in your body, you may even feel body tingling. It’s your sign that the anger energy is moving out of your body, an absolutely positive response!

When it comes to interviewing for a new job, your ability to bounce back from rejection, be authentic, and easily connect with people is important. It takes kindness and self-patience to able to “play on your own team.” The most important type of moral support you can ever have begins with you.

Moving forward with Resilience

When you let go of the fear and anger, you’ll stop beating yourself up with regret for everything that goes wrong as you look for a new job. You become more resilient, and all experiences simply become opportunities to learn.

You can do these tapping exercises as many times as you want. Right before your next interview or at any moment where you feel afraid or angry. They’ll help you feel relaxed, comfortable with yourself, and with your thoughts. They definitely help you to think more clearly and decisively, which is fantastic in itself!

Once you’ve been offered the right job, you’ll know deep down with certainty that it’s meant for you.

Don’t forget you’re interviewing them as well. Consider whether you can work with that company, and is it a right fit? With your new shift of consciousness, you might ask yourself if are THEY worthy to have you as an employee?

My next blog will be the conclusion of the grieving process during a job loss, helping you with reconstruction, acceptance, and hope for resilient confidence!

Let me know how you’re coping with your fear and anger in the comments below.